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Communicating Compassionately with Young Londoners Displaying Harmful Sexual Behaviours

Harmful Sexual Behaviours (HSB) is a term used to describe sexual actions that are outside what is safe for a young person’s stage of development.

Positive relationships in the lives of young Londoners are vital to their health and wellbeing. Like other areas of a young Londoner's development, the development of their sexual identity begins from birth and continues through childhood and adolescence.

Sexual behaviours in children and young people exist on a spectrum ranging from ‘normal’ to ‘violent.

Normal

Developmentally expected

Socially acceptable

Consensual, mutual, reciprocal

Shared decision making

Inappropriate

Single instances of inappropriate sexual behaviour

Socially acceptable behaviour within peer group

Context for behaviour may be inappropriate

Generally consensual and reciprocal

Problematic

Problematic and concerning behaviours

Developmentally unusual and socially unexpected

No overt elements of victimisation

Consent issues may be unclear

May lack reciprocity or equal power

May include levels of compulsivity

Abusive

Victimising intent or outcome

Includes misuse of power

Coercion and force to ensure victim compliance

Intrusive

Informed consent lacking, or not able to be freely given by victim

May include elements of expressive violence

Violent

Physically violent sexual abuse

Highly intrusive

Instrumental violence which is physiologically and/or sexually arousing to the perpetrator

Sadism

Rosa, Safer London’s Expert Neurodiversity HSB Caseworker and Internal Advisor, offers three tips on how you can communicate compassionately with young Londoners displaying HSB.

HSB blog

Top tip 1

It is helpful to get to know the young Londoner outside of their HSB. Learning about their interests and goals helps build a trusting relationship with the young Londoner, as well as helps them see a positive future for themselves. I use a strengths-based approach which focuses on the young Londoner’s capability, rather than their limitations. This allows them to feel in control of their own life and behaviour. We know that the majority of HSB displayed by children does not continue into adulthood and therefore it is important for the young Londoner and the people in their lives to be able to move on from the incident with the correct support.

In the last 12 months

Person

has been the average age of a young Londoner accessing our support

Top tip 2

Secondly, it is important to provide a non-judgemental space for the young Londoner. There is always a reason behind HSB and therefore it is helpful to approach a case with curiosity about the young Londoner’s experiences, rather than judgement about their behaviour. Evidence suggests many of the young people we work with have been exposed to inappropriate sexual material or experiences. Using a trauma informed approach allows me to understand how a young Londoner’s neurology may have been affected by their experiences and how this may impact their behaviour. Letting the young person give their own perspective on their life and their behaviour allows me to identify why the behaviour may have occurred and therefore how best to intervene.

There is always a reason behind HSB and therefore it is helpful to approach a case with curiosity about the young Londoner’s experiences, rather than judgement about their behaviour.

Top tip 3

Finally, I need to be flexible with the kind of support that a young Londoner may require. I allow the young Londoner to speak about their behaviour in their own time and in a way that they feel comfortable with. I focus my sessions on education around sex, healthy relationships, and safety. Many of these topics can be addressed without directly speaking about their behaviour. In time, the young Londoners feel comfortable to open up about their experiences. Additionally, the young Londoner may need additional support to help them engage positively in other aspects of their life such as hobbies, friendships, or school. Prosocial activities are a great protective factor against HSB so it is really important to be able to adapt support for the specific needs of the individual.

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Since 2020 we’ve been delivering a service for young Londoners displaying HSB. The development and delivery of our service has been evaluated by The University of Sussex. This report serves as a critical tool in helping us shape this service to be the best it can possibly be for those who access it.

Read the full report

Click here